A few reflections about touch
by Nathascha
Summary: Three of our favorite characters reflect about the meaning of touch. Rated T because of lovemaking mentions (nothing explicit). First Haven fiction.


_Discalimer: I don't own Haven, if I did the show would most likely be riddiculously fluffy, so maybe it's better that I don't. _

_Warning: I'm not an english native speaker, and this is my first trying at writing a fiction in english, so this might be filled with mistakes, feel free to correct me, I love learning. And my english teacher will bless you._

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_**Nathan's POV**_

He once told Audrey that touching is not everything. He knows it's not entirely true. As a man deprived of touch he knows the importance of reaching for someone, the comfort a hug can bring, the assurance that comes from a kiss.

That's why he touches Jordan, every chance he gets. He knows it seems strange to others, they tink he really likes her. But this isn't about love, it's about help.

She can't touch anybody, and neither can he. Well he could, technically speaking. Touching other people, without feeling them is to much to always take great care of not touching people, even by accident, it hurts to much: expecting a feeling and not getting it. It's easier to cut the ties, to keep to yourself, how could you relate to people when you can't even feel them?

He knows how it feels, to Jordan, and he wants to help her. To give her some reprieve, even for a little while. He knows she feels it, the connection, the feeling of being part of the world again. So when she visits his office, and he strokes her face, and her smile gets so wide she could light the precint, he knows he did the right thing. It doesn't matter what the other think; they believe he's really involved with the Guard, because they believe he's involved with Jordan.

It's not important, he will save Audrey, not matter what, he will just try to save Jordan in the same time. If it means touching her, so be it.

_**Claire's POV**_

Claire is very carefull not to ever touch her patients. Not only beacause most of them are Troubled, and that could have dire consequences. But because touching means creating a personnal connection, as a psychatrist she's supposed to help her patients, not lure them into false hopes of affection.

She never felt as bad about that rule as the first time she met Jordan. The girl (woman) is curled up on an hospital bed, a quivering mess of tears, surounded by doctors dressed in white coats and static proof gloves, who try to keep a safe distance from the hysteric patient on the bed.

Claire would like nothing more than to give the young lady a hug. But she can't, because it's not her place as a doctor, and because she would get an electric shock.

As the weeks go she sees Jordan getting more and more closed-off. Her inability to touch others seem to trigger an inability to connect with people. She doesn't know what to do, Claire can't reach to Jordan, she can only watch her patient go deeper and further into depression, shutting out everyone, just like her body shuts out contact. She thinks this might be the sadest sight in the world, until she meets Nathan Wuornos.

She, of course, heard about Haven's police chief. She knows he can't feel anything. Neuropathic idiosympathy, rumors say, she knows better. Rumors are usually far from the truth, this time is no exception. He has the closed-off, brooding, monosyllabic speaking attitude she expected after dealing with Jordan. It's when she meets Audrey that she's surprised. He can feel her, it's written all over his face, whenever they « accidently » come in contact. She was afraid Nathan wouldn't be able to create deep connections, becauseof his Trouble. But she realizes she was wrong, because what Nathan and Audrey share is something few married couples ever get. Something that runs deeper than touch.

_**Audrey's POV**_

It took them two months to reach that point. When the hunter left, and she stayed, she knew she had all the time in the world. Nathan was patient with her, knowing she isn't used to be vulnerable, and open with her feelings. She learns to be patient with him to. Just because he can feel her doesn't mean they get in to bed the first chance they get! Ok maybe she did expect that... Who would blame her? Nathan is all 6'7'' of lean muscled man. And if Audrey always says that Nathan's sexiest feature is his brain, she has to admitt his ass comes in second-close.

But she soon learns that touch is overhelming to Nathan. Being numb for years, every sensation is a thrill to him, and intimacy with Audrey sometimes get a bit to much.

They have taken things slow, kissing, then making out on the couch like teenagers. It was fun, but Audrey wants more, she loves him, and being able to express it through touch is something she longs for.

She knows he's ready, and so is she. So she cleaned up her appartement, shaved her legs and let him bring dinner.

Tomorow they'll go back to work, they'll fight the Troubles again, they'll help the victims. But tonight, is about them, about him, tonight he will be the only on she heals.

Later, in her bed, while she's almost asleep she realizes she was wrong. Touch has not only healed him, but her to.

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N/A: _Yesterday, I watched Haven's latest episode, which made me curse my computer and want to throw it through the window. It also inspired the beginning of that story which kind of took a life of it's own._

_I'm french, so I'm not used to writing in english, but I couldn't picture this story in any other language, maybe because I watch the show in english. Please excuse the many mistakes I made writing this._

_I never wrote for Haven, but the idea wouldn't left me, so I decided to try it, and this appeared in an afternoon._

_I'm not certain I'm happy with this, and usually I would wait before publishing it, but college and work keep me busy, and I don't know when I will be able to proofread this. This has not been Beta'ed, so all mistakes are mine._

_I'm willing to discuss anything you might find wrong or inappropriate in this story._

_You know reviews are the only way to let the author know what you thought, and the only way to help me improve._


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